Tonight I had a very unique experience. Dr. Bean claims we will carry it with us for the rest of our lives. Thanks to him, for he gave us the opportunity to have this experience. Tonight I came to KNOW that family is indeed the best gift God has given to us. As I was sharing my thoughts about tonight with a friend, she so wisely suggested that I write them down so I can remember them for always and forever. I figured I would share it with the world so the whole world could catch a piece of the peace and love that has been planted in me tonight.
Last week I received a phone call from my brother's therapist inviting me to his session. I took an hour and a half off of work tonight to go meet with my bros and Dr. Bean. I was rushed, late, and not really excited to go. Little did I know that the next 45min would literally change my paradigm. We spent most of the time discussing JJ and the predicament that he is currently facing; however, the most powerful thing happened at the end when Dr. Bean asked Coleman and me to give JJ a gift before he heads back to Reno. A gift that he can use to give him strength and get through the rough times. I decided to go first, since Coleman had a panicked look on his face ;-). I told JJ that my gift is the gift of love. Though I have played role of mother now-and-again over the years, I can never replace Mother (and don't want to!), yet, I told JJ that I can still love him as such. When he needs a hug, I can give it to him. When he needs the words of encouragement, I can do that. I told him I don't always agree with what he does or says, but I love him all the same. Unconditionally, I love my brother (well, both of them, but this was about JJ). We sat there, all three of us crying our eyes out. I kept telling JJ that I am a support that he can call and text and email anytime about anything and I will be there. I told him that even though I won't be right next to him, I can try with all my might to hug him through the phone. My gift is the gift of love.
Coleman explained to JJ that he wants to be JJ's best friend as his older brother. He feels ashamed that he doesn't know all that's going on in JJ's life. He wishes that he could provide more than he can right now at this point, but that he will always give JJ his best. Coleman also expressed to JJ that he too will always be there for him: by phone, email, text, whatever. Coleman's gift, I would say, is friendship, but more than that, he too gives JJ the gift of unconditional love.
After Cole and I gave our little didies (is that a word?), Dr. Bean, who was also crying and asking for kleenex, told us that when we hurt, or feel lost and lonely, we need to remember that each of us have the same pain and understand more than anybody else, where we stand. He said that we will hold this moment close to us always. I agree. He also said that when we are down and in the pits, it's an invitation. An invitation? Exactly!! It's an invitation to let other people show their love for us. What an amazing breakthrough this was for me. When I hurt, I have people in my life who want to love me and help. My family understands my pain (and in return happiness) better than anybody else.
I love my brothers. I love my sisters. I love my parents. My brothers and I have been through a lot through out the years. Happy, sad, fun, boring, obnoxious, and down right dumb. They will love me, as I will love them, no MATTER what happens. My sisters are a lot younger than we are. It's as if they're growing up in a different family than we are cuz dynamics are different now, but they're still family. We love them unconditionally. We have so much to offer them, as they continually teach us day in and day out.
The rents. They have helped mold us into the people we are today and are developing into. Times have been really hard. Times have been so amazing. They have done everything that they know how. They love unconditionally, though maybe not in a way that we understand at times, but unconditionally none-the-less. They were the building blocks of our foundation. We love them and they love us.
My hubby (hey, he's family now!). We have good times, we have bad times. In the end, we are sealed to each other through celestial bonds. We chose this route because we have unconditional love.
If all of us could remember the simplicity of it all, life could be more enjoyable and less painful. We live, we learn, but most importantly, we love!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Papa G signing in
Papa G, aka grandpa is back. Thanks hon for capturing my personality so well....hehe
The truth: I can't hear the "teen ring." It is sad really. Andree, Megan, and all her cousins like to play the ring from their cell phones and laugh at me as I stand clueless next to them. Then I feel really old and like I have been out of the loop for years and years. Guess it's all part of the growing up and being a mature husband thing.
I do also drive a lincoln continental. However, I want to point out that during the day when I go to work in the Honda accord, Andree drives this little beauty. It rides smooth, has very few miles on it, has great air conditioning and a heater, and as long as we take care of it will never break down. It's an amazing car really. You should all be jealous. It is GREAT on long road trips too. Andree likes to lay across the front bucket seat and put her head on my lap and sleep for hours. In fact, her brothers and her like to sleep for hours as I drive nine hours either way from Orem to Disneyland : )
The not-so-truth: I do not need 15 hours of sleep. In fact, I have been surviving on little more than four or five hours a night for two months now. It is far different from the usual eight or nine I am used to but I am getting better at not being ornery late at night. It's a work in progress though.
So Andree really does LOVE shopping therapy and mario cart. However, I do recall a few time trial records that stand unbeaten by yours truly....you better get on that babe. As for you Anna, I don't doubt that you're pretty awesome at this game. I could probably beat you though.
To update, the last afternoon/night at disneyland was great! We went on a few more scary rides, one being the Tower of Terror. This was the only ride JJ did not go on. He was awesome the rest of them however! We ended our trip by watching "Fantasmic" late Saturday night. Those of you who have been lucky enough to see it know what I am talking about. For those of you who don't, this show is incredible. It features images/videos displayed on mist and a smoke screen in the middle of a river. There are numerous props including a life-size pirate ship with the whole peter pan crew. Peter Pan and Hook duke it owt with much gusto as they swing from level to level on the ship and sword fight. There is music, dancing, and even a part where half of the river lights on fire. Who knows how Disney does the amazing things they do.
Sunday we concluded our trip with breakfast at Mimis cafe to celebrate Gabby's birthday. We then drove home (by we I mean I as the others fell asleep exhausted-I'm just poking fun...no hard feelings guys) and celebrated Devin's birthday in Utah.
It's great to be home again and back to our four jobs! Yippee skippee!
Grandpa Spillers
The truth: I can't hear the "teen ring." It is sad really. Andree, Megan, and all her cousins like to play the ring from their cell phones and laugh at me as I stand clueless next to them. Then I feel really old and like I have been out of the loop for years and years. Guess it's all part of the growing up and being a mature husband thing.
I do also drive a lincoln continental. However, I want to point out that during the day when I go to work in the Honda accord, Andree drives this little beauty. It rides smooth, has very few miles on it, has great air conditioning and a heater, and as long as we take care of it will never break down. It's an amazing car really. You should all be jealous. It is GREAT on long road trips too. Andree likes to lay across the front bucket seat and put her head on my lap and sleep for hours. In fact, her brothers and her like to sleep for hours as I drive nine hours either way from Orem to Disneyland : )
The not-so-truth: I do not need 15 hours of sleep. In fact, I have been surviving on little more than four or five hours a night for two months now. It is far different from the usual eight or nine I am used to but I am getting better at not being ornery late at night. It's a work in progress though.
So Andree really does LOVE shopping therapy and mario cart. However, I do recall a few time trial records that stand unbeaten by yours truly....you better get on that babe. As for you Anna, I don't doubt that you're pretty awesome at this game. I could probably beat you though.
To update, the last afternoon/night at disneyland was great! We went on a few more scary rides, one being the Tower of Terror. This was the only ride JJ did not go on. He was awesome the rest of them however! We ended our trip by watching "Fantasmic" late Saturday night. Those of you who have been lucky enough to see it know what I am talking about. For those of you who don't, this show is incredible. It features images/videos displayed on mist and a smoke screen in the middle of a river. There are numerous props including a life-size pirate ship with the whole peter pan crew. Peter Pan and Hook duke it owt with much gusto as they swing from level to level on the ship and sword fight. There is music, dancing, and even a part where half of the river lights on fire. Who knows how Disney does the amazing things they do.
Sunday we concluded our trip with breakfast at Mimis cafe to celebrate Gabby's birthday. We then drove home (by we I mean I as the others fell asleep exhausted-I'm just poking fun...no hard feelings guys) and celebrated Devin's birthday in Utah.
It's great to be home again and back to our four jobs! Yippee skippee!
Grandpa Spillers
Friday, November 9, 2007
Day 2 in D-Land
Anna, it's on. We'll play Mario Kart until the wee hours. SO FUN!!
Ok, day 2 at Disneyland was so fun. We stayed a bit at aunt Sharon's house this morning, chatted, and played with baby Grace. She also showed us the most amazing invention ever: pancakes in an aerosole can. Yup, that's right. It's so sweet we delayed happy time in the park to try some of these tasty treats. They were pretty darn good.
So, we met the fam in the park at Autopia and had such a fun filled day. We watched the High School Musical 2 parade (I know you're jealous), the Magic of Disney Parade, we tested to see which disney character we most resemble (I'll tell you which later), we went on a stupid water ride (WHY? I don't know because I ALWAYS get the most soaked), and much more. Ok, so aparently I'm most like the Evil Queen from Snow White. Yea, but don't worry cuz my mom said the Cruella Deville would have worked also. BOO...
Anyway, the best part about this entire trip was watching JJ on all of the rides. It was his first time actually going on "scary rides!" I think he went on the rides mostly because Isabel went on all of them, but that doesn't really matter. JJ would scream like a little girl and get nervous..........................................................................................................................................................................................
So, that's all that saved last night. I stayed up an extra hour to write to you all only to have it stolen. I'm really frustrated right now and as you all know there's no way to re-create a masterpiece, thus I will not try. I'm done for now. Maybe more will come later after we leave the park for good....as Tigger says, "TTFN."
Ok, day 2 at Disneyland was so fun. We stayed a bit at aunt Sharon's house this morning, chatted, and played with baby Grace. She also showed us the most amazing invention ever: pancakes in an aerosole can. Yup, that's right. It's so sweet we delayed happy time in the park to try some of these tasty treats. They were pretty darn good.
So, we met the fam in the park at Autopia and had such a fun filled day. We watched the High School Musical 2 parade (I know you're jealous), the Magic of Disney Parade, we tested to see which disney character we most resemble (I'll tell you which later), we went on a stupid water ride (WHY? I don't know because I ALWAYS get the most soaked), and much more. Ok, so aparently I'm most like the Evil Queen from Snow White. Yea, but don't worry cuz my mom said the Cruella Deville would have worked also. BOO...
Anyway, the best part about this entire trip was watching JJ on all of the rides. It was his first time actually going on "scary rides!" I think he went on the rides mostly because Isabel went on all of them, but that doesn't really matter. JJ would scream like a little girl and get nervous..........................................................................................................................................................................................
So, that's all that saved last night. I stayed up an extra hour to write to you all only to have it stolen. I'm really frustrated right now and as you all know there's no way to re-create a masterpiece, thus I will not try. I'm done for now. Maybe more will come later after we leave the park for good....as Tigger says, "TTFN."
Thursday, November 8, 2007
D-Land
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have commented. It makes me feel SO loved. It's also really nice to see that Chris's side of the family reads this and comments too. It's so great!!
Anna and Megan, come on now. Megan, just comment on her blog so we can get on with life. Anna, I wasn't the one who suggested The Kite Runner, was I? It is a very sad story...you know, I'm just finishing up a really good book. It's an autobiography and it has a very fulfilling ending. Probably will leave you with a smile on your face; however, I do have to warn you that it's a bit unnerving at the beginning.
Oh, and apparently I was tagged by Heather. I guess I'm supposed to give six things about me...yadda yadda...the R-U-L-E-S, which everybody knows I am not good with:
1. The player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves - try to find 6 you haven't already posted about.
2. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, and then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog for the rules.
So, now that we got that outta the way-
ONE-I am at Disneyland. Well, technically I'm at the fam's hotel. We left this morning at 2:30am to arrive at the park around 10am. Cole didn't have his ID so we couldn't pick up will call tickets, thus we messed around for a while outside D-land until we ended up back at the car to watch Season 7 of the Simpsons on my laptop. Yup, a nice long car ride to sit in the parking lot of Disneland and watch the Simpsons. As Chris stated, "Now THAT'S something to blog about!"
TWO-I love Mario Kart. Give me an N-64, a Game Cube (both of which we have), or a Nintendo DS and I will kick your butt...rapid fire turtle shells, bomb blast, or mushroom past you! If you set a time trial record, I will beat it...both the single lap and the whole race. Mario Kart rock my face off
THREE-I love sweet potato french fries from Gurus (a local joint in downtown Provo)
FOUR-Currently, my very favorite game to play is Blokus. I want to get Blokus Trigon. It has been said that I am a "vicious Blokus player."
FIVE -I am married to a grandpa. He needs 15 hours of sleep to avoid being grumpy. He drives a pimp-mobile (Alecia likes that name), but really it's simply a Q-Tip head car: a luxury Lincoln Continental. Which, by the way, he loves to drive slowly and behind big buses. Most recently, and my new favorite proof that I married a grandpa, is he can't hear. HAHAHA....he can't hear the "teen ring." If you don't know what this is, check this out Teen Buzz . So, only OLD PEOPLE can't hear this...I guess this is proof enough that I married a grandpa.
SIX-I have a shopping addiction. You might know this, you might not. If you spend a few hours with me, you will find this out quite quickly. I am SO happy that I now have two jobs. My bank account was dwindling quickly. I have more stuff than ever. When we have to move next year, we will need 3 moving trucks. A few months ago I bought a pet-Evian. She is a beta fish. She is beautiful. She has a best friend-Perrier. He's a snail. They live together in a vase with cool bamboo. I also have a bonsai tree. It's not so pretty, but loved all the same. I also have mini roses (thanks to "my grandpa") planted right outside the house. I recently "acquired" a brand new flower. It's an orchid and it's second flower just bloomed. I am in love with it. The petals are white with purpleish-pink insides. So, those are my living purchases. I also recently bought some noise cancelling head phones. A couple actually....WHAT? I didn't know which I would like better to go with my Zune!! Anyway, I'm in Bath&Body Works weekly, if not daily. I LOVE their products. Just going in there gives me a high. Have you never heard of shopping therapy? Well, i LIVE by it...you know, being in the stores all the times gives you the opportunity to know when and where the sales are. I bought Chris some wanna be Chucks from Aeropotale for $2.50.
I guess that's enough for now. I'm gonna tag Anna for now...not butt tag (hehe), but blog tag.
Until next time-I'm off to sleepy land only to wake up and realize i'm really returning to the Happiest Place on Earth!
Adios
Anna and Megan, come on now. Megan, just comment on her blog so we can get on with life. Anna, I wasn't the one who suggested The Kite Runner, was I? It is a very sad story...you know, I'm just finishing up a really good book. It's an autobiography and it has a very fulfilling ending. Probably will leave you with a smile on your face; however, I do have to warn you that it's a bit unnerving at the beginning.
Oh, and apparently I was tagged by Heather. I guess I'm supposed to give six things about me...yadda yadda...the R-U-L-E-S, which everybody knows I am not good with:
1. The player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves - try to find 6 you haven't already posted about.
2. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, and then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog for the rules.
So, now that we got that outta the way-
ONE-I am at Disneyland. Well, technically I'm at the fam's hotel. We left this morning at 2:30am to arrive at the park around 10am. Cole didn't have his ID so we couldn't pick up will call tickets, thus we messed around for a while outside D-land until we ended up back at the car to watch Season 7 of the Simpsons on my laptop. Yup, a nice long car ride to sit in the parking lot of Disneland and watch the Simpsons. As Chris stated, "Now THAT'S something to blog about!"
TWO-I love Mario Kart. Give me an N-64, a Game Cube (both of which we have), or a Nintendo DS and I will kick your butt...rapid fire turtle shells, bomb blast, or mushroom past you! If you set a time trial record, I will beat it...both the single lap and the whole race. Mario Kart rock my face off
THREE-I love sweet potato french fries from Gurus (a local joint in downtown Provo)
FOUR-Currently, my very favorite game to play is Blokus. I want to get Blokus Trigon. It has been said that I am a "vicious Blokus player."
FIVE -I am married to a grandpa. He needs 15 hours of sleep to avoid being grumpy. He drives a pimp-mobile (Alecia likes that name), but really it's simply a Q-Tip head car: a luxury Lincoln Continental. Which, by the way, he loves to drive slowly and behind big buses. Most recently, and my new favorite proof that I married a grandpa, is he can't hear. HAHAHA....he can't hear the "teen ring." If you don't know what this is, check this out Teen Buzz . So, only OLD PEOPLE can't hear this...I guess this is proof enough that I married a grandpa.
SIX-I have a shopping addiction. You might know this, you might not. If you spend a few hours with me, you will find this out quite quickly. I am SO happy that I now have two jobs. My bank account was dwindling quickly. I have more stuff than ever. When we have to move next year, we will need 3 moving trucks. A few months ago I bought a pet-Evian. She is a beta fish. She is beautiful. She has a best friend-Perrier. He's a snail. They live together in a vase with cool bamboo. I also have a bonsai tree. It's not so pretty, but loved all the same. I also have mini roses (thanks to "my grandpa") planted right outside the house. I recently "acquired" a brand new flower. It's an orchid and it's second flower just bloomed. I am in love with it. The petals are white with purpleish-pink insides. So, those are my living purchases. I also recently bought some noise cancelling head phones. A couple actually....WHAT? I didn't know which I would like better to go with my Zune!! Anyway, I'm in Bath&Body Works weekly, if not daily. I LOVE their products. Just going in there gives me a high. Have you never heard of shopping therapy? Well, i LIVE by it...you know, being in the stores all the times gives you the opportunity to know when and where the sales are. I bought Chris some wanna be Chucks from Aeropotale for $2.50.
I guess that's enough for now. I'm gonna tag Anna for now...not butt tag (hehe), but blog tag.
Until next time-I'm off to sleepy land only to wake up and realize i'm really returning to the Happiest Place on Earth!
Adios
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Be Brave, not Beige?
Well well, appears that I am not a great blogger after all. Kudos to those of you who keep up with your blog and give readers, well, something to read!! Thanks to a little prodding from a valued reader :-), I am back on the radar. Wahoo....
You know, I'd prolly be more inclined to write more often if more than 3 people read it (yea, that includes me and Chris...BOO!!). Well, I really appreciate you guys who actually leave comments. It makes this experience so much more enjoyable. Plus, I love reading your blogs.
Last Tuesday Chris and I woke up really early to drive to the airport, only to drive home from the airport that same night. It was a good cause though. We got into Loma Linda, California in the afternoon. Ah, I know you all are really concerned about our rental car. Wait no longer cuz here it comes: we got a Mustang; HOWEVER, Chris and I were unimpressed. I would take a stupid Dodge (yea, you read right, a DODGE) Charger over one of those gutless, bucket seat, crap-rides any day. Haha, ok, not that bad, but not that great either. Anyway, to get back to the point, the interview went really well. The tour was fabulous too. Oh, and incase you aren't aware, Loma Linda University is a 7th Day Adventist school. Interesting. They had a lot of new equipment. They also do a lot of service and trips. Cool stuff.
So, Halloween!! Stupendous. We did a lot of pumpkin carving and ate a punkin pizza from Pappa Murphey's.
Oh yea, something new. I got a job. Actually, that's a lie: I got 2 jobs. I now am employed by The Home Depot and Utah State Univ. extended service. Home Depot is paying me big bucks to stand at the register and help customers leave with a smile. The government (yes, a government job--lotsa paper work) is paying me to work with women in the WIC program to teach them about nutrition and cooking. Haha, yea, cooking. Do i know how to cook? No way, but i guess i fooled them enough to get the job. I had better pay attention to THEIR demonstrations before I try. Yikes, cooking in front of others...good thing I like to learn. I will keep you posted with the many stories i will be picking up from both jobs.
Yes, another new thing: Chris got a second job. He now is employed by Einsteins and Target. Woohoo Target!! I'm looking forward to those savings...and you're prolly thinking what my mom verbalized, "So, you two NEVER want to sleep OR see each other?" The obvious answer to that: NO!!
But of course we want both of those, at this point in time though, this is what's going to work best for us. If things need to change, they can. Anyway, no need to explain everything, you prolly don't care.
Onto something better...DISNEYLAND!! We're going Thursday-Sunday. We've got the time off and are ready for a great time. We're super excited.
Ok, enough mumbo-jumbo for now. It's 1:18am, Chris has been sleeping for awhile and I haven't even read at all tonight.
Signing off,
Andree
You know, I'd prolly be more inclined to write more often if more than 3 people read it (yea, that includes me and Chris...BOO!!). Well, I really appreciate you guys who actually leave comments. It makes this experience so much more enjoyable. Plus, I love reading your blogs.
Last Tuesday Chris and I woke up really early to drive to the airport, only to drive home from the airport that same night. It was a good cause though. We got into Loma Linda, California in the afternoon. Ah, I know you all are really concerned about our rental car. Wait no longer cuz here it comes: we got a Mustang; HOWEVER, Chris and I were unimpressed. I would take a stupid Dodge (yea, you read right, a DODGE) Charger over one of those gutless, bucket seat, crap-rides any day. Haha, ok, not that bad, but not that great either. Anyway, to get back to the point, the interview went really well. The tour was fabulous too. Oh, and incase you aren't aware, Loma Linda University is a 7th Day Adventist school. Interesting. They had a lot of new equipment. They also do a lot of service and trips. Cool stuff.
So, Halloween!! Stupendous. We did a lot of pumpkin carving and ate a punkin pizza from Pappa Murphey's.
Oh yea, something new. I got a job. Actually, that's a lie: I got 2 jobs. I now am employed by The Home Depot and Utah State Univ. extended service. Home Depot is paying me big bucks to stand at the register and help customers leave with a smile. The government (yes, a government job--lotsa paper work) is paying me to work with women in the WIC program to teach them about nutrition and cooking. Haha, yea, cooking. Do i know how to cook? No way, but i guess i fooled them enough to get the job. I had better pay attention to THEIR demonstrations before I try. Yikes, cooking in front of others...good thing I like to learn. I will keep you posted with the many stories i will be picking up from both jobs.
Yes, another new thing: Chris got a second job. He now is employed by Einsteins and Target. Woohoo Target!! I'm looking forward to those savings...and you're prolly thinking what my mom verbalized, "So, you two NEVER want to sleep OR see each other?" The obvious answer to that: NO!!
But of course we want both of those, at this point in time though, this is what's going to work best for us. If things need to change, they can. Anyway, no need to explain everything, you prolly don't care.
Onto something better...DISNEYLAND!! We're going Thursday-Sunday. We've got the time off and are ready for a great time. We're super excited.
Ok, enough mumbo-jumbo for now. It's 1:18am, Chris has been sleeping for awhile and I haven't even read at all tonight.
Signing off,
Andree
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